Song for my Province – Chien Swee-Teng

Song for my Province (28.10.2011) – Chien Swee-Teng

‘The Austrain misogynist, Otto Weininger, divided women into two categories: mothers and prostitutes. Similarly, men can be classed as fathers and profligates. The fathers again can be graded into two groups: the fathers of children and fathers of “men.” Since all the former can do is beget children, not bring them up, they still have something in common with profligates. The latter not only beget children but also try to educate them, in order that they may be genuine men in the future.’ - Lu Xun, ‘Random Thoughts (no. 25, 1918)’
If it is Roman numbers and Arabic letters, the price of four slabs of meat might be better. To braise (Lor), steam (Chway), because I am patient, grille (Peng), I leave no stone unturned, to pan-fry (Chien)? the oil, but I am profound, I like it deep-fried. We love to share our concern for the price of meat but not the meat. Vegetarians love to despise us and secretly hope we die from all kinds of cancer. But they are kinder, but they are kinder than us, they love animals.
We love the girls from our hometown, fair limbs, flesh-vegetables (bak chye) it doesn’t matter if they shave – their armpits, I mean. Or faint shadow of moustache on another adorable face. I am lying.
I met a German girl, and she told me about the hairy woes on her legs and arms. We discussed Buddhism (a popular topic amongst many Westerners now) and the hairlessness of monks and nuns, and some cunts in school.
I knock on the wall like a door, I forgot to tell you that I am strong, that I am so strong that the wall cracks instead of my bones. And hairlines are born to form a distorted map of the world. But I can’t see my province from it, knowing it is not about the cartographer who prefers pounding than drawing. I live on exaggeration.
I notice a trace of my blood on the wall, few drips, not a spot or a little red dot. ‘Blood on the sheets again’, white sheet but it could be the dark virgin I bought last night, or a menstruation blood of a careless loveless 45 year old. A 78 year old lady is watching the advertisement of Japanese sanitary pad on TV. But she doesn’t say much about the Japanese occupation in 1942. This song is not dedicated to women or to criticise mothers to be. I was born to be unfilial.
I am proud of my province with a name longer than the territory, the almost invisible territory on the world map. Not a problem of scale, 1:63,360, 1 inch = 1 mile. And 1:1000000 made it worse, 1 cm is 10km, pocket size map of Sydney is 1: 15000. Kannina, I failed mathematics in school.
I am proud of my province with a bastardised name, took a cat for a lion when we only have tigers, now dead tigers of Bukit Timah, now intimate friends of paper tigers. What prince, what Hindu, what traitor, what Sang Nila, what Utama, it only reminded me of the word Kannina. For a day, after school, my classmates substituted Kannina with Sang Nila and Sang Nila with Kannina in class. And Utama for conversation in Mandarin. What Srivijayan, what Indo, what Chinese envoy, what Chinese monk, I am not a prince with mythical power or intelligence. I only would throw myself into the sea, than the crown, because of my fear of drowning. What lanchiao lord of the sea! Whose grandfather!
In school, we were told that scientists of the West said tiger and lion are classified as Cats. On my way home I looked at the skinny stray cats around the void deck. One of them, I guessed female, was licking herself. I was reminded of some poses of showgirls in United States from a movie. Science lessons in school must be a protracted joke imported from Germany. I was told that huge rats used to bully their ancestors, some came from Persia and Siam, until the great William Farquhar came to save the day. Anyway, the cheaper beer here must be ordered by the names of cats, fierce cats, black cats, tigers and lions in different language or dialect. Tiger Beer, Leo, Singha…I did not do biology and hate to visit the zoo. The most dangerous species there is considered visitors.
The conversation ended but she forgot to hang up. She did not put the phone down properly. No click. It is landline. I hear the TV. Earlier she played me a song recorded on cassette tape through the phone. In return, to continue this potlatch of muffled sound, I played the acoustic guitar and sang out of tune for her. Scratching of strings is more prominent than the plucking. She is talking to her sister now. I hear screaming, chattering, screaming of joy, bliss and innocence compounded, and laughter and chattering of joy, bliss, unfounded excitement and potential hysteria compounded. I hear a man’s voice, the father, I guessed. Is that how she behaves at home? How she speaks to her family. I put the phone down. I hear it click.
First time out of the province, on our way to Malacca, driving along the high way listening to The Rolling Stones the palm tree plantations, is it mathematical or dynamical sublime? Sorry for the Kantish question. The Rolling Stones played at the badminton hall in 1965 which is to say the The Rolling Stones played in Geylang. The Rolling Stones Live in Geylang! The two friends who went with you are dead. One of them, David an ex-cop spent the rest of his life as a full-time gambler, a hustler in the billiard saloon at the basement of Golden Mile. Now you are studying Golden Mile as an architectural phenomenon. We met him when he was jaywalking, crossing Jalan Sultan. He died of heart attack few years later.
The promise to be a man of the world - let’s return to the price of meat and related matters. Not to waste your life in a basement. The advertisement in the newspaper today inspired this provincial song, I must cite my reference. Fresh Buys, Available at 85* stores! Argentina Packham Pears – $ 1.95 US California Red Globe Grapes – 38 cents 100g China Winter Dates 350g -$2.25 per punnet Italy Angeleno Plus 1 kg-$2.95 per punnet China Yuan Huang Pears - $ 1 for 2 Spain Melons - $4.95 each China Spinach 250g - $1.10 per pack Fresh Grey Prawns (Stateless) - $1.08 100g Japan Sea Bass - $1.44 100g Australian Chilled Twee Bah – 98 cents 100g.